When I was younger I dated this guy, he was an athlete, over 6 feet tall and he was no good for me. I was crazy about him and he was crazy about every other girl.
I dated him for over a year. Our relationship relinquished in due time. I start dating this other guy that was completely opposite from what I thought I was attracted to. The interesting thing is the guy I no longer dated was furious with me. He would do silly things to try to get me to react but I never gave in to his childish ways.
A year passed and I was still involved with the other guy but my X came around expecting me to stop what I was doing and come back to him. I thought this guy has some nerve; he was the most controlling guy I knew in my life. I accepted him based on desiring my father. My dad was an athlete, over 6 feet tall and meant what he said all the time. As a young lady I thought he reminded me of my dad in a good way. The difference between this guy and my dad is my father loves me and the guy only loved chasing after me.
Yet, I was confident with who I was with and politely turned away from him. I never realized when I was dating him that he had a problem with being insecure. I didn’t realize the reason why he continuously asked where I was going and what time I would be back was because he was emotionally affected by his mother and father’s relationship.
His parents split because of one were cheating on the other. It took me years to discover this guy was so controlling because of his childrearing. He had the aspect that he had to always know where his woman was and where she was going as if she was a bank account.
This guy had a spirit of not only jealousy but insecurity. It took me a while to realize this because I only wanted to see what I wanted and not the truth. God warns his people about our belief in spirits. “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God,” (1 John 4:1).
God is love therefore His Spirit is noticeable by love. This first guy I dated spirit did not align with love. His spirit was only about himself. He displayed what control and never considered me. When I looked at him I never saw sacrifice it was controlling mannerisms. God gave us choice and He sacrificed His only son for us.
When I began to date the other guy, I was able to discern that he was a better fit because of how loving he was. When I needed someone to listen to, he was there. When I needed someone to pray with he prayed with me and for me. When I needed transportation he was there. This guy displayed many attributes which aligned with the Spirit of God.
It was then I realized who was best for me. Being insecure can demolish your pure thoughts, of holiness. It can cause you to believe things of the world and even combine things of the world with the word of God to attempt to justify it.
I attempted to justify dating this guy because he reminded me of my father. I looked at his physical appearance and did not focus on his heart. It was not until I closely looked at his heart that I was able to discern he was not love.
When we focus on a person’s character we can discern the person. Scripture tells us that “you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already” (1 John 4:2-3).
Do you know someone that is struggling with controlling ways? Have you come to know one that has a spirit of being insecure? Perhaps you should evaluate their spirit. Possibly, their spirit is of God yet they struggle overcoming insecurities.
As Gods children, we have to remember we are from God and have overcome insecurities, jealousy, fear and deception, for He who is in you is greater than He who is in the world. They are from the world; therefore they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. ...
If you are struggling in this area allow God to heal you. Pray to God to sustain you and carry you through. Call upon the Lord to release you from such controlling ways. Ask God to cause you to meditate on His word, for He has not spoken in secret, from somewhere in a land of darkness; He has not said to Jacob's descendants, "Seek me in vain." I, the Lord, speak the truth; I declare what is right (Isaiah 45:19).
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2 comments:
God is Love. God give us free will to love him,and to include him in our life. God is not controlling, but he is on standby when we need him. Someone who is controlling your every move ,I do not think God would feel that person is an acceptble mate. One should be very careful when considering a mate, or even friends. If they are forcing you to do things, are controlling you, run fast. If God is our "Heavenly Father" and he is not forcing you to love him, why do others think they have that control. Love you
God is LOVE, and when we do things is should always be done with love. If it isn't than we are not being obediant to Gods will. When we let go and let God take over than EVERYTHING is on time. On Gods time.
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